the milkman

Me: "Parker where are you going?" (he's naked in the hallway outside our front door about to head down the stairs.)

Parker: "Me going to buy milk now. See ya later."

Parker-isms

Had to jot these down before the moment's lost...

Me: "Look at that huge goldfish in the tank."

Parker: "Cute fish. Parker hold de fish like!"

Me: "Parker do you see the panda bear? It's so big and furry."

Parker: "Parker hold de Panda like!"

Parker: "Parker tummy-ache hurting. Parker need medsin like Panda. Parker have fevra too."

Parker: "Bunny's tummy-ache hurting too."

Peter: "I have to pee"

Parker: "Parker like pee too."

Parker: "Mama help!"

Me: "What is it Parker?"

Parker: "Parker don't know how pee. Mama hold de Penis pwease."

Aunt Barbara: "What are you doing now Parker?"

Parker: "Fly strassenban, uh-uh-uh-uh, 30 minutes, uh-uh-uh-uh, outer space, uh-uh-uh, blast off!"

Me: "What are you doing with your bike?"

Parker: "Bike on couch. Bike like read book too."

Me: "What are you doing with your doll stroller Parker?"

Parker: "Stroller on couch. Stroller like read book too."

Me: "What are you doing with your paper airplanes?"

Parker: "Paper airplanes on couch. Paper airplanes like read book too."

Me: "What are you doing with Peter's scooter?"

Parker: "Scooter on couch. Scooter like read book too."

Me: "What are you doing with that chair?

Parker: "Chair on couch. Chair like read book too."

Me: "Now where are you going? I thought we were reading a book."

Parker: "No book. Parker lay down take nap now. Tired. now. me."

Me: "Parker do you have a dirty diaper?"

Parker: "No Mama. It's just gas."

Me: "Parker that playdough is Micki's. It's his birthday present."

Parker: "No. Parker buy it like. Parker Uh-uh-uh take playdough home uh-uh-uh now. Bye-bye."

Me: "Parker where are you going?" (We are waiting for the subway, and he's heading toward elevator.)

Parker: "No more subway. Me go back home now. Bye-bye."

Me: "What's wrong Parker?"

Parker: "Don't like kiwi. Kiwi go away."

Me: "What's wrong Parker?"

Parker: "Don't like cheese. Cheese go away."

Me: "Parker what's wrong?"

Parker: "Don't like Peter. Peter go away."

Me: "Where do you want Peter to go? He lives here?

Parker: "Peter go Omi's house now. Me stay with Mama."

Me: "What should we do now Parker?"

Parker: "Read a book. Read Parker Rabbit."

Me: "Okay."

Me: "Mr. McGregor jumped up and ran after Peter, waving a rake and calling out, "stop thief!"

Parker: "No. Mama. NO! Mist Gregor run after Parker Rabbit. Parker! Not Peter."

Me: "What's wrong Parker?"

Parker: "Me sad. Parker miss Lindsay."

Me: "I know how you feel."

Me: "What are you doing Parker?"

Parker: "Me like Peter now. Me kiss Peter."